NOTE: Important Quoted Passage At The End Of This Message.
Let go of ego… you are never going to be perfect or right all the time. Thinking otherwise is literal insanity.
Holding onto the emotion tied to your ego is not only a heavy fucking burden, it is self righteousness of the highest order.
I cried my eyes out back in February when I realized how much I felt bound to personally. It was one of the first lessons that hit me like a ton of bricks when I entered the Warrior program… And, it was not my first exposure to the concept. I’ve been through the work repeatedly and hadn’t internalized the importance.
And neither will you… All exceptional performance requires repetition. You cannot reveal your max potential in the gym after one session, everyone knows this and would consider anything contrary ridiculous… yet, when it comes to personal performance, there is a tendency to think “I know” after one class or one book or one video. (Get your ass into the next book, class, or event asap. Hell, invite me to go with you!)
Not possible. Performance in all areas has to be consistent. A daily act of small steps toward a larger, measurable end game.
All my life I’ve been told to be less direct, less intimidating, less forthright and less of who I am at my core.
At work one time, I reprimanded an employee with my manager at the time and the employee got upset… The manager pulled me aside and told me that I was too intimidating. When I asked what specific thing I did, he told me it wasn’t what I did… it was that because I was 6’2″ and a bigger guy, that anything I said would be perceived as more intimidating than if done by another. So, he basically said this: “I know its your job to reprimand and correct behavior, but don’t do your job because your physicality makes other people feel small.”
I could not shrink myself physically, right?
So, I began shrinking myself in other ways… I withdrew. I faded into the background.
I genuinely hate it when people feel badly about anything… so, at that time in my life as a younger man i thought to myself why be the cause of that?
So… I began to feel it was on me to ensure other people’s happiness, to make sure other people’s feathers are never ruffled, and to smooth out upset in other people.
Later in life after some self exploration, I would learn the reality is all of that is none of my business. I am responsible for me and my emotional state alone… as are you. In fact, that is all any of us can control: Ourselves. When we lose that, we’ve lost everything in that moment.
This does not mean I have a right to intentionally upset someone, it means that I have a responsibility to invest in effective ways to get the best out of people using my skillsets, personality, and training.
Recognizing that fear, anger, and upset in ourselves and in others is just projection, deflection, and a refusal to look inward and face the real problem… is the only problem.
When anyone is in this state, it is never about what they claim it to be about, it is always about them. Their bullshit story and personal weakness…
Why? Because human beings have no concept of how they perform or show up unless objectively tracked and verified.
So be easy… love the person under the ego and shine light for anyone operating in the dark. For it will be you soon enough in that place… and, we are all in the dark when we choose into the game of expansion and growth.
The following is from “Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts | Becoming the Person You Want to Be” by Mark Reiter and Marshall Goldsmith
“We are notoriously inaccurate in assessing ourselves. Among the more than 80,000 professionals I’ve asked to rate their performance, 70 percent believe they are in the top 10 percent of their peer group, 82 percent believe that they are in the top fifth, and 98.5 percent place themselves in the top half. (Those numbers don’t add up, eh?)
If we’re successful, we tend to credit ourselves for our victories and blame our situation or other people for our losses. This belief triggers an impaired sense of objectivity. It convinces us that while other people consistently overrate themselves, our own self-assessment is fair and accurate.
Overconfidence. Stubbornness. Magical thinking. Confusion. Resentment. Procrastination. That’s a lot of heavy baggage to carry on our journey of change.”
“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years” – Bill Gates
It has been my experience that to truly master any one thing, or to go to the next level in something takes roughly 10 years of practice.
I was reminded of this as I studied with Garret White this past year at Wake Up Warrior and most recently listening to Andy Frisella who built 1st Phorm into a 100MM dollar company.
In 7 to 10 years in each case.
Personally, a similar happenstance for me… I decided I wanted to be a millionaire by age 36 in my twenties… then, attained a 1.2MM net worth 10 years later.
Then, my ex and I parted ways and I lost almost everything. Not only that, but she sued 3 times over assets we had already agreed to split.
I was now out 40k in lawyer fees, I couldn’t sleep, I had zero familial support, no savings, and I had to sign over 70 acres of land in Georgia that we had purchased to build a home and ranch on.
As much as I hate to admit it, I had suicidal thoughts… during this time, I could totally understand why someone would put a bullet in their own skull.
I was literally sleeping on a cot in a rental property with no floor and I swore that in 5 years I would get back what I lost.
That was 2009.
I had to borrow money just to pay the bills.
I borrowed money to do all the PSI courses totaling over 15 thousand. I spent money I didn’t have on myself so I could create the life I wanted that didn’t exist.
I resigned myself to settle into the process.
2020 will be my 10th year since losing nearly everything.
I fully expect to have regained all my lost footing and then some by then. I have and control more property than I did in 09, but my cash position is shit. So depending on how you look at it maybe I got it back, yet maybe isn’t good enough for me.
10 years committed to doing business and learning and growing, spending time in the presence of those who can shorten time frames, creating content, investing in my Queen and my partners along the way, getting fucked (not in a good way) by many I have worked with.
10 fucking years…
I have no intention of quitting.
Know this: On the daily, shit moves slow… Weekly shit moves slow… Monthly shit moves slow… But, consistent motion over time adds up huge!
Re-read the Gates quote.
It’s about patience in the process. Trusting the process you’re in and your skills to figure shit out.
CNP as CNP is almost 2 years old. The business will gross over 110k this year.
FSI as new FSI is 2 months old and we have much to accomplish.
HW as new HW is 6 weeks old and we have much to do.
HW One is not yet a thing, but soon will be.
10 fucking years is the commitment.
Patience and steady motion… NOT complacency, not apathy… is the requirement.
1>0 so celebrate any win you create, any step further down the path, any victory by any member of our merry band.
How will we build this out: By treating every customer as if he is our only customer. What would that look like in terms of service level… how much more likely is that person to advertise for us… to be our biggest fan.
I am here for each of you and I will keep running with all of you. I am committed to what we have discussed for at least 10 years. Are you?
Will you run with this group to create something amazing that you can be proud of for 10 years? Is that worth your energy and effort?
In the modern world, sometimes there is a tendency to want to rid ourselves of the proven “old ways”.
I see this all the time with marketing and was reminded of it again today while listening to Og Mandino tell the story of the Chinese who developed the idea of looking through a pinhole in an effort to correct their vision enough to see small objects or read text on the other side.
This does work… and will allow someone with vision so blurry they can not read a newspaper, to actually read newsprint.
And, naturally we mimic this by squinting when we seek to see something difficult for us to make out.
Its like the body knows… and it does.
There is something to the intelligence it gathers from its ancestral DNA.
Yet, technology made the pin hole obsolete by replacing it with glasses; not the idea. It’s just as valid as it has always been. Glasses… are the result of taking the root idea of holding something up to your eye, looking through it, and seeing clearly, to the max extent of the technology available using finely ground and polished glass.
Contrast that with marketing, for example…
When it comes to efficacy. To getting what you want. People in the marketing world tend to seek the new shiney object, whether it’s social media, websites, seo or paid ads… Soley for the sake of claiming use of them. While completely missing the underlying “old ideas” that make the marketing work.
You may have all the tools listed above, the latest marketing tech, yet if that tech doesn’t capture attention and tell a story of how you can solve someone’s problem with the value you bring to the marketplace, it is useless.
There is no better way than the proven way.
The proven way is all about human psychology… your ads or social media posts lead with a compelling statement, they then tell a story or provide helpful advice, which leads to someone who identifies with your story taking action to see if what you have is right for them.
The type of media is irrelevant.
Magazines still sell, The Yellow Pages still sell, Radio and TV still sell, so why would the internet be any different?
It’s just media.
Tell your story… Make it as long as necessary to inform and convince. I find interested clients on the CNP Website spending upwards of 20 minutes just reading and learning before they ever reach out.
As Dan Kennedy says, “Never dumb down and shorten your message to appeal to a larger fundamentally uninterested audience.”
Give whatever is required to the interested person, and your middle finger to anyone who isn’t.
Greetings all! Recently we have been having discussions around creating regular communications with our gym members using email… And, to that end, I have put together a screen cast on how to do just that.
Make the subject line sell the click
Tell a story in the body with calls to action
Make the column of text narrow
Send a test
Schedule or Send the email
Track your results.
Be sure to check it out and hit me up with any questions or comments below. I will respond as soon as possible and take care of you.