“BE. HERE. NOW…” were the words I heard back in 2008 as I sat in a room full of “Other People” who were fucked up. I was perfect.
And, I didn’t need to be there.
At least that was the story I was running in my head subconsciously.
And, looking back, I didn’t know what I didn’t know then, and still today I feel like I’m scratching the surface of who I am in some ways.
About a year ago, it was pointed out to me that my growth as a person had ceased. I had fallen into the trap of somehow thinking I had “arrived” when really all I had done was “remain”.
I stopped asking questions of myself, I had given up on being able to truly trust anyone, and decided that Ihad to largely go it alone because I could never be free to be myself.
It was too much.
My life was me repressing myself to fit the mold other people considered “kind” or “good” or worse yet, “acceptable”.
Not only was I killing me, I was accepting mediocrity all around me.
At my core, that has never been me.
I will bleed for what I believe in and protect to my detriment all those who are in my circle.
But that guy is a scary guy. I have to keep him hidden. I can not let him out. If I do, Iwill be ostracized… rejected… avoided.
That was my belief.
I remember being in a lower management role back in the 90s and correcting a few employees around the policy and procedure of cash handling, when later I got a call from my supervisor.
He told me that I was too intense, that I needed to tone it down when dealing with others… so I asked him, “What did I say or do that was over the top?”
His response, “It’s not really what you said or did… it’s just that you’re a big guy and you’re intimidating to be around for some people.”
So my takeaway was that how other people feel is my responsibility; which is complete and total horseshit. They are responsible for how they feel as they get to choose their emotional state.
But being the dumb kid I was, I took that to mean that I was broken and that I had to please everyone. That I was fucked up because someone chose to be intimidated by what I consider to be a pretty normal size guy: Me!
Nonetheless, their stories were now somehow my responsibility… at least in my head. And, I set forth to repress the shit out of myself until the true fire and capabilities I possess were just a shadow of their potential.
That was then… and many years in a row after.
BE HERE NOW has finally given it’s secret to me. It’s more than being present…
It’s the knowledge and wisdom that comes with having the abililty to look at the past and see it as the teacher it is.
It’s a resource for the present and future.
It’s a wealth of information to draw from.
BE HERE NOW means to be FREE of your past. Freedom means you CHOOSE.
Your past is not going anywhere. You can not change that nor choose that…
You CAN change it’s significance. It’s meaning. It’s lessons and takeaways.
For me, the story I made up about needing to repress my power has been changed to:
“My power lies in influence… And, if I want to effect real change, I will master the art of influence.”
My new behavior and belief around influence is that “I step into power when I adjust my approach to another individual’s ability to recieve the message I have to share.”
I don’t give up my power, I leverage it to shape the circumstances. And, for those I bond with, create deeper levels of intimacy.
So my question for you is this: Where in your life is the stories you made up about your past determining your current state?
If you are honest, you will have many answers to that question. Identify one and start changing the story.
BE HERE NOW is being free to act in the moment on a set of values and principles you’ve chosen… not from duress, from pure intent on what you want to create.
With Love, Sight, and Expansion.
PS. Be Here Now is not just phraseology, Be Here Now is a book on metamorphosis by Ram Dass a.k.a. Professor Richard Alpert.
Welcome to Do The Hard Thing Episode 2. I am Jason Archer… creator, freedom seeker and leader of self | full time student and part time teacher of self mastery, and today’s theme is “Futures”…
So, turn up the volume, put down the distractions and let’s kick this off…
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Have you ever started a project that you felt held a great deal of meaning for you, and then for whatever reason you could not move toward the outcome you wanted to create. Whether it was a Mental, Physical, or Spiritual target you sought, it didn’t matter… there was some part of you who refused to move. This podcast is born out of that specific idea. Do The Hard Thing is an exploration in human movement.
Millions of people tuned into their Pay Per View Television with friends and at bars all across the world last night to watch undefeated Floyd Mayweather come off a 2 year retirement to take on the UFC’s poster child, mouthpiece, and champion Conor McGregor.
If you think about it, you may wonder what if anything either fighter had to gain from this bout.
You had Mayweather at 40 years of age coming back to the square circle with a 49 – 0 professional boxing record. And, McGregor… who is giving up the use of all the weapons available to him in the Octagon: no knees, elbows, take downs, Brazilian jiu jitsu, or other forms of striking like kicks would be available to him. And yet, for some reason he took this fight on someone else’s terms.
Where is the sense in this bout for each fighter?
Each man is already accomplished in his chosen field, each man already has substantial wealth and notoriety, and each man stands to seemingly put all this at risk for one opportunity in a sanctioned boxing match.
Floyd, in a way, is carrying the hopes of the entire boxing community on his shoulders… No boxing fan wants to see an MMA guy step into the ring and beat a defending champion on his own terms. It would look very bad for boxing which already has a problem getting viewers to tune in for it’s lesser bouts. Floyd will take home $100MM.
McGregor, on the other hand… has accomplished the feat of being the first to hold titles in 2 divisions in the MMA, has completely blown up the financial possibilities for MMA fighters, and has single-handedly spoken himself into being the best promoter MMA has ever seen. Conor will take home $30MM.
Some would look at this say it’s all about the money…
How many times have you heard that… people spouting off, “well shit, I’d get in the ring for only $1MM”, and I’m sure you would. I would too, but the reality is that no one is going to pay to see a nobody hack brawler like me or you get pounded by professional. And, no promoter worth his salt would set that up. So that’s off the table, bud… Back to reality.
Back to what is truly at stake for each fighter…
Neither fighter needs the money… that’s not it. Its what scarcity minded people say when they see numbers being paid out that they can not fathom ever seeing themselves get paid.
It’s much more than that. It has to be. If you’ve ever spent any time around people who’ve made really good money, you’ll know what I mean here. It’s very difficult to keep pushing for more when you have a surplus. Think about that one, how genuinely motivated are you when all your needs are met to seek money… or anything else for that matter. In short, not very…
That’s definitely not enough for these men to RISK all they’ve accomplished, their reputations, and legacies.
In fact, why would either of them RISK anything?
Let’s forget about what they stand to lose for a moment and look at what they stand to GAIN… What are the potential rewards in this scenario outside of money?
Just look at McGregor first… because to me, he stands to lose the least but potentially gain the most. First of all, nothing that happens with this match against Mayweather will impact his record in the MMA. Everything he’s accomplished there will still stand. Add to that the fact that he’s much younger than Floyd, and you can see that even if things go horribly wrong for him from a PR standpoint, he’s got time to regroup, stay in the game and remake any reputation that he puts on the line.
BUT… what may be the net outcome if by some miracle he is able to actually lay down a win against arguably one of the best fighters ever?
That REWARD could be staggering.
Imagine being the first man to ever crossover from MMA and beat a world class boxing champion in his own sport. Imagine the opportunity that could spring from that. From endorsement deals to promotion, McGregor would position himself as a man who is damn near ready to take on anyone or any aspect of combat sports. His name would be written into the history books as the only man to ever defeat Mayweather, he would prevent Mayweather from getting his 50th win and further solidify the MMA as the once and future king of combat sports.
He could ride this wave for the next 40 years of his life, and regardless of payout, have throngs of followers and young upstarts who want to train with him, work with him, be mentored by him, or promoted by him.
Then, you have to factor in the book and movie deals, residuals, and the whole of the entertainment industry who are constantly seeking the next cash cow to hitch their wagons to.
In short, Conor’s future win or lose is much bigger than this past or his present.
This is key. Future bigger than Past… Remember that. We’ll circle back to it.
How about Floyd?
It would seem he stand to lose a great deal more, if he loses to McGregor.
His professional record IS at stake here, his legacy IS at stake here, he’s past his prime and IS undefeated going into this match. What can he hope to gain? This is not a title match nor title defense, although the WBO is creating a belt they are calling the “Money Belt” specifically for this bout, it isn’t an official title.
This would represent his last fight. And, a loss would tarnish his perfect record, but it could be worse than that.
He could effectively be the first man beaten at his own game by an unranked outsider… And, because people remember the last thing you do, he would forever be remembered as that idiot who came out of retirement and lost his last match to a guy who never should have been in the ring in the first place.
He and his team’s decision to take this fight would be his most talked about achievement, eclipsing everything he did previously.
Oh, but what if he wins?
If he wins, he retires as the first man to surpass the 49-0 record of the famous Rocky Marciano. Doing this, would make Mayweather the only man… The ONLY man in the history of the sport to hit the highwater mark of 50 – 0 at this level.
Suddenly, the record books have to all be updated with a new name!
Floyd downplayed this angle in his interviews, but he, of course, knew what he could potentially accomplish by taking on this sanctioned fight, on this enormous stage, for all the world, over 200 countries to witness.
Mayweather took this fight because it made his future, bigger than his past.
McGregor took this fight for the same reason… it made his future bigger than his past.
For men like this, the pain of standing still in their respective careers, was much greater than any potential pain of failure in this bout when measured against the possibility of creating a MUCH LARGER future.
And for many of us, we’ve not done the math and weighed our future greatness against our current accomplishments… and said, “You know what? I’m capable of more… of making a bigger impact.”
We get so wrapped up in “doing fine”, “getting by”, or “just paying the bills” that we allow our current station, our comfortable place in life to keep us where we are, never really losing… but NEVER truly making our FUTURES big and exciting and something worth moving toward!
That is the hard thing. To move when you don’t need to. Any asshole can move when he has to, but it takes a man of vision to write his future and step toward it each day.
That’s it for today! Thank you for listening, and if you found value in this message be sure to subscribe on iTunes, Google, Castbox, or Stitcher | Share this with those you know need to hear it on social | And I’ll see you back here in the next episode | This is Jason Archer signing off | Now… go, and DO THE HARD THING.
Listen at dothehardthing.net